there are times i question my own sanity... or is it insanity? this sounds so familiar, like i've said it before. i'm also trying to remember when was the last time i proudly proclaimed with a smile on my face that "life is beautiful". apparently, not too long ago. less than a week ago i would suppose. but things change. people get over stuff. i've jus gotten over my stupidity that the world is alright.

argh!! WAD HAPPENED? I'M NOT LIKE THAT. i'm not pessimistic girl all the time!

*repeat after self: life is beautiful, i must remember to see the joy in daily stuff.*

but right this moment, life is definately not looking up. it's not even looking down. it's stuck in a grind. stuck. i should throw myself off a cliff. someone said, i cant remember who: *i say to the world:"hi world!" and the worst fear is that the world says back:"So wad?"* it pretty much sums up everything. i think i would fear that too. not being known. "being known" in the sense that no one can remember me, and i want to walk to my grave knowing that i've influenced some people's lives and made their lives either better or worse of. hee